Anyhow, I'm not sure if any of you follow Jamie Eason in the fitness world. She's pretty amazing. She's got a very interesting history and a fan base who adores her as they should. (I'm a fan.) She's a great role model. Well, I remember when she posted about her wedding and her marriage. She was a very beautiful bride, but then she came out and told the world something that I thought would be too scary to say out loud. She told all of her fans that she wanted to start a family. Everyone was so excited for her and I'm sure many women can relate that it's kind of a scary thing to "let your body go" (in a sense) in order to have babies especially for such a fitness star. The thought of letting my body go scared me just a little and I got over it quickly-ish, but I think the part that scared me most was, "What if you claim this and you can't make a family?"
Back to me. TMI, but I think most of you know, I've had to change a lot about last year's me in order to be healthy. (ei. gain fat.) There's a little humor in this because most women claim being super healthy when really, they're just at a low body fat percentage (not everyone is this way). We all know that parts of body building is really not healthy at all, but we ignore it because it looks awesome. Some women CAN do this and maintain this look, but I can't apparently. I thought it was so incredibly unfair that I had the discipline to get the body I wanted last year, but it couldn't do the things I needed it to do in order to start a family. That was stressful and as I've learned over time...can't have any stress! Well that sucked because having stress was one weird thing I felt like I could rely on...my mind can handle stress, but my body can't.
So my body couldn't do normal female functions and that sucks if you want a family. (I do if you didn't get that already, so I'm coming out just like Jamie Eason! Send the baby making powers my way!) Anyhow, I actually "fixed" myself and thankfully, it didn't take too long. My recipe for becoming healthy was reluctantly prescribed by my doctor. She seemed a little scared to take away my 5-6 days a week workouts because when women like me, get to that place, you're taking away our fun and the need for us to rely on our tight bodies. But I have this bigger need for a family, so that began my "Gain Fat" plan. (Who goes on a diet to gain fat?) I just started eating things like a normal human being: all real food (including fruit and nut butters which is not always on body building diets) and some wiggle room for things like dessert and treats. Funny enough, but that's what the books prescribe for pregnant ladies...not too much crap food but a whole lot of good real food. I also cut back on workouts (Who tells you to not workout as much to be healthy?) and I also discovered crossfit then. I only go twice a week and I sprinkle in other things for my own sanity. So long story short, more food + less intense working out = healthy body for me.
I've been doing alright with this. The mental struggle of seeing myself become wider without the payout is a little discouraging but I know what I've been doing works. (If you read between the lines, it almost happened.)
My new plan now is to continue what I've been doing, cut back workout intensity even more, and continue finding hobbies that have nothing to do with babies or extreme fitness. Those two things can't go together for me and thinking about either of them without having them is stressful...again, can't have that. (I really need to work on the stress part.) So I only write this because things have gotten a little better emotionally/mentally. Until the magic happens, my to do list includes massages, sushi, and maybe the occasional glass of red wine while I can still have it. Oh geez, wish me luck! It worked for Jamie Eason!
P.S. I have noticed not many women discuss these things and I guess that's why I was suprized when Jamie Eason came out with her claim. No one likes to talk about their troubles or how difficult it all is and in a weird way, I feel like women would be slightly less stressed if we all just knew ahead of time and talked...don't you think? It's been a huge sigh of relief to know that what I'm going through is normal, as sad as that is.
P.P.S. Shout out to an awesome person whose been helping me every step of the way. You've been a blessing.